Neldon Floyd Johnson

It was August 2001, and I stopped by my parents’ home on my way home from school to check up on them. This was about 6 months before Dad passed away. As I parked my car in the guest parking lot at the condominium complex where my parents lived, I noticed a big, luxurious silver-grey Lincoln Continental parked, and I wondered who in Garden Park knew someone rich? When I entered the condo Dad was sitting in his big over-stuffed chair talking to a man sitting on the couch. As I entered, they both stood up, and Dad said, “Andy, this is my daughter, Ann.“ Andy started to shake my hand and fumbling for something to say, I ask the dumbest question ever. I said, “Oh, what do you do for a living?” In a very humble voice he said, “I coach the Philadelphia Eagle football team.” It was Andy Reid, the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, who happened to be in town bringing his son to BYU. He had heard Dad wasn’t doing well, and so he got dad’s address from BYU, and while his wife shopped at Target in Orem, had decided to come visit him. If he only knew how much Dad appreciated that visit. Since that encounter I have been a Philadelphia Eagle fan ever since.

Oink Johnson (as I remember the story told by my Grandpa Johnson, Vic Johnson) Once there was a boy named Warren Johnson and a boy named Floyd Johnson. One day they were driving down the street in their dad’s truck and they noticed a farm with a lot of pigs. Now, it had been a long time since they had eaten a pig and those pigs really looked good. So Floyd asked Warren to please pull over so they could go get a pig. Warren decided to stop, and Floyd jumped out of the truck. He jumped over the pigpen fence and grabbed the first middle-sized pig he could find. He lugged the pig back over the fence and tried to haul it to the truck as fast as he could. Now, if anyone of you has ever been around pigs, you’ll know that they can squeal really loud and this pig was no exception. That’s the main reason that Floyd was trying to get it into the cab really fast. Warren reached over to open the door and Floyd threw the pig in the cab then jumped in on top of it. Warren pulled away. Sure enough, as they drove down the road they saw the farmer in the rearview mirror, waving his hands and yelling at them to come back. Now they knew that the farmer would be calling the cops so they decided that they had better get home as soon as they could. They had gone quite a little ways and were nearly home when they noticed that at the stop sign they were nearing there was a cop car. Warren stopped the car and turned around. He started to go back the other way. Now, they were in the country and the only exits off that country road were the cow trails leading into the pastures, so they just had to keep going the other way. As they were nearing the next stop sign, Warren noticed there was another cop car. So he stopped. He didn’t know what to do and neither did Floyd. They thought and thought. Then Floyd suddenly got an idea. He took off his glasses and stuck them on the pig’s nose. Warren took off his hat and put it on the pig’s head. Then Floyd took off his coat and wrapped it around the pig. Then they both scrunched closer together so that the pig was stuck between them in the seat. When they got to the stop sign, Warren stopped. One cop got on one side of the truck and the other cop went to the other side. Both leaned their arms against the window, then the first cop said, “What’s your name?” “Warren Johnson.” Then the second cop said, “What’s your name?” “F-F-F-FLoyd Johnson.” Then both the cops said, “What’s the kid in the middle’s name?” Just then the pig started to fall forward and Floyd jabbed it with his elbow to keep it up. The pig didn’t like that so he said “OINK!!!” “Oh, so your name is Oink Johnson,” said one of the cops. “Well, OK, you can go on through.” After Floyd and Warren were gone, the two cops walked over to each other and one of them said, “You know, that Warren Johnson and that Floyd Johnson weren’t bad looking kids, but that Oink Johnson was the ugliest little kid I’ve ever seen.”