JACK RUESCH

Our dear sons, I spent all the forenoon making copies of your blessings so I could send you a copy. I feel that you need them so you can get an idea what God wants you to do in this great play going on in which we are all actors. You see sons, we were all spirits in heaven before we came to this earth to take a body. I believe we knew what the mission was we expected to fill before we got to this earth, but as we are born forgetting all we knew and only by keeping in close touch with God and seeking to gain back that knowledge do we come to an understanding what we should do in this life. There is quite a misunderstanding about foreordained and predestination. To be foreordained means to be given a part to fill if we are willing to do it. But predestination means we would have to do it wether we want to or not. Let me give you an example, say I should write a play and put or make characters in it which called for certain talents. When it is completed I begin to look around for the people who can play the different parts. I go to a person and say I have a certain place in my play I would like you to take, you have the gifts and talents that could do good with it if you take the part. I will pay you so much, if not, I’ll find someone else. Well, that leaves it up to this person to do as he pleases. There is three things he can do: take the part and work hard and study hard to do a good job of it, or they can say I’ll try then sherk and not do much and fall down on it, or they can say no I won’t do it I’ll not even try. So you see the last two ways they have no pay coming, they haven’t done there part. Well, if they were predestined they have to do it taking away their free agency. So, it is with this earth life we all have a part to play which if we find our part and work toward making a good job of it we will be given our pay with certain blessings that he had promised. These blessing he tells us the work we must do if we put our efforts to that line expecting to do our part so that we can expect the blessing promised. We needn’t fear God won’t do his part and keep the promises because he will. Of course it’s not easy. Nothing worth while is easy. It takes hard knocks to develop strength and character. It’s like a swimmer, the one who just floats along with the tides never reaches an objective or goal, but the one who keeps fighting going toward somewhere they want to go gets there and gets the reward. So please son, please don’t join in with the talk and opinions of those who are stirring up trouble, remember to ask God for the blessing you want and remember to do what he has asked of you. Keep clean both in body, mind and heart. Treat others as you want them to treat you, that is the rule to follow. Keep they tongue from evil and thy lips from speaking guile (decent coming: meaning of guile) depart from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it, the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous and his ears are open unto their cry. (Psalms) If you are kept over there for awhile do not get to impatient and get to thinking God is not hearing your prayers, but get the idea over to your sleeves that God has need of you where you are and you have a part to play there. Keep cool and not join in the feeling that the big men over here are not doing all they can. It’s a big job and if they got in too big a hurry it might make a worse panic than we are having now. Rest easy about the judgement on the people who were the cause of this war, they will be found out in time, they are uncovering a lot of stuff and I think we will all be surprised when the truth is finely out and shouted from the housetops like the Bible says it will be (radio). I want my boy home so badly it is just one big aching desire with me, but I don’t want to be selfish about it, the other mothers want there boys home too. Read your blessing over and pray God to help you understand what they mean and help you to see where you can do your part as each day and night comes. Be a help and a comfort to the other men and boys around you and a help to them to live better lives. And when we all get through this life may we all be together over there where there is no more separations and parting, that is my desire that our family may go on in the spirit of love for one another. But we have got to work for that wonderful blessing. Well sons, I have poured out my mother heart to you. I know the things you are going through are not pleasant ones. I try to understand they are not as near as I can without going through it myself. I have written this with carbon paper so all the letters will be the same. I will have to go over the last copy, it is so dim but it will still be the same anyway. I love you so much and want so much to help you be faithful and able to endure to the end. May God help you to overcome the mistake you might make, like all the rest of us make. Mistakes are the ladders we climb up to get somewhere but they don’t need to be the same mistakes. Good night, dear sons. Always with love as ever, mother.

My Dear Sons, Lyman, we received your very welcome letter, thanks for the kind word. It all helps me carry on, I sure hope I as a mother have helped some to give you a better understand the purpose of this earth, and our being here, I have decided to write a letter, to all of you, Lyman you can let Clair read this, then please send it to Jack, and you Jack send it to Burdell, I don’t think I will have it sent to Bert, because he has the same problem to try and find the right answer too, there is no need to make him help me, but you other boys haven’t this problem, or if you have I don’t know of it. I just want to help you understand a situation that I feel you can see and perhaps are worried over, I have already talked to much to some of you, I mean too much without giving you a better explanation of the facts as I see them. This is just my side of the question, if some one could get dad to open up and tell his side of the story, and if I could find out it would help me so much to know how to act, but he won’t tell me anything. You boys or some of you told us, what impressed you the most in your boyhood home was the kindness between your father and myself, and I am happy that we were able to give you these memories of your life together; that is what I wanted to give you as inheritance, I wanted all of you boys from the time I knew another child was coming, no one ever heard me complain that I had too many children, because I never did feel that way, I felt from the time I was a young girl, that I could have a large family, and I was happy to be blessed with them. Whenever your father and I had any difficulty over matters I always tried to talk it over when we were alone, I tried to tell him how I felt about it, but it seemed like he got the idea I was finding fault with him and his way of thinking, it just seemed like I never could find the right words to use, I knew before I ever married your father that he felt resentment against his dad, because it seemed like he could never do or say the right thing, his mother told me that grandpa always had it in for him, so... (Do not have the rest of the letter.)

A letter to my sons: Dear Gifts from God, I have been going to write you all a letter to help you understand that you have nothing to worry over about your father and my problems, I realize I have talked to much when the way looked pretty dark ahead, but things are better now. Also, I want to thank you all for your phone calls and the letters I received for my birthday, while I have tried to train myself to not look nor expect to be remembered with outward attention, because I know you all love us, and everyone is so rushed and busy, but when they come unexpected they are a great thrill to me, and they do me so much good. Your father and I have been through a tough test this winter, one that has found the weak places in us, but now things are so much better, and I feel we have come through it with a far better understanding of each other. I’ll have to confess that I have handled past problems in a way that made things worse for us, but that is no ones fault but mine, we were married young and I knew your father had not received very good treatment from his own father, so that he felt left out and not equal to others. Your grandmother told me herself that grandpa always had it in for your dad, and I knew also that he had to do so much house work while at home because he was the oldest in the family and grandma had been bed fast so much of the time, poor soul, she was one wonderful woman, so I love and honor her memory. Howard always got all the favors and attention, so there was really bad feelings in a way in the family, then your dad told me after we were married that his folks didn’t want him be marry me because I wasn’t a strong girl. So we did start out with problems to work out. My folks did always look after me so carefully, I never was strong, so I knew they were right, but when I got married I always felt in my heart that I would be blessed with a large family and was looking forward to it with great joy, I welcomed each child with thanks giving and knowing how hurt your dad had been I tried so hard to make it up to him, when I got married, I had the goal in my mind that I was going to take my vows to heart and take the bitter along with the sweet, and to always encourage my husband to bring out the best in himself. I knew God meant for the men to be the head of the family, so I always tried to remember that. I had read what Pres. Joseph F. Smith said, quote: There is no higher authority in matters relating to the family organization and epically when that organization is presided over by one holding the high priesthood than that of the father, the authority is time honored and among the people of God in all dispensations it had been highly respected and often emphasized by the teachings of the prophets who were inspired of God. The patriarchal order is of devine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity, there is then, a particular reason why men, women and children should understand this order and this authority in the households of the people of God, and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the higher exaltation of his children, in the home the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount to illustrate this principle, a single incident will perhaps suffice, it sometimes happens that the Elders he calls in to administer to the members of the family among these Elders there may be presidents of stakes, apostles, or even members of the first Presidency of the church. It is not proper under these circumstances for the father to stand back and expect the Elders to direct the administration of this important ordinance, the father is there, it is his right and it is his duty to preside. He should select the one who is the administer of the oil and the one who is to be mouth in prayer, and he should not feel that because present presiding authorities of the church that he is therefore divested of his rights to direct the administration of that blessing of the gospel in his home. If the father is absent, the Mother should request the presiding authority present to take charge. The father presides at the table, at prayers and gives general directions relating to his family life whoever may be present, wives and children should be taught to feel that the patriarchal order in the kingdom of God has been established for a wise and beneficial purpose, and should sustain the head of the household and encourage him in the discharge of his duties, and do all in their power to aid him to exercise of the rights and privileges which God has bestowed upon the head of the home. The patriarchal order has it’s divine spirit and purpose, and these who disregard it under one pretext or another are out of harmony with the spirit of Gods laws as they are ordained for recognition of the home. It is not merely a question of who is the best qualified, neither is it wholly a question of who is living the most worthy life, it is a question largely of law and order and it’s importance is seen often from the fact that the authority remains and is respected long after a man is really unworthy to exercise it. This authority carries with it a responsible and a grave one, as well as it’s rights and privileges, and men can not be too exemplary it their lives, nor fit themselves too carefully to live in harmony with this important and God ordained rule of conduct in the family organization upon the authority certain promises and blessings are predicated and those who observe and respect this authority have certain claims on divine favor that they cannot have except they respect and observe the laws that God has established for the regulation and authority in the home. Honor they Father and thy Mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord they God giveth thee, was a fundamental law to ancient Israel and is binding upon every number of the church today, for the law is eternal. The necessity they of recognizing the patriarchal order and authority of the home rests upon principle as well . The person who holds that authority and among the Latter-day Saints family discipline, founded upon the law of the patriarchal, should be carefully cultivated and fathers will then be able to remove many of the difficulties that now weaken their position in the home through unworthy children. I find there is such a poor understanding of this among the people today and I wonder if that is one of the reasons of so much disrespect for fathers, he had become just the goat in the family, just the man who worked to earn the money they want to spend, as I was saying I had read these things so that was my goal in mind, to take my vows seriously and be willing to take the bitter along with the sweet, and to encourage my husband to do his duties to God first, and do all I could to make it possible for him to do it, I realize I have made a lot of mistakes learning my lessons but I have tried to profit by them, I have always been happy in my family life, I have been told by different people that they thought that was why I wasn’t ageing like a lot of others, I was a happy person and I had such an interest in life. I was so happy to get out and work with your dad in anything he needed done, and while you boys were growing up and your dad expected so much from you, I was always glad to get out and help any of you, and I feel I have been blessed so many ways for every time I did it, I learned each one of you better than if I hadn’t done it, oh, you have been such a joy to my heart, sure you all made mistakes, you were having to learn right from wrong from lifes experience just like the rest of us. Some times that is the only ways truths can be learned, the big thing that matters is what we do about our mistakes, if we go right on making them, or do we profit from them to give us strength to avoid temptation the next time they come our way. I have been made so happy to seen how you handled situations that came your way, and I say thanks for being willing to learn. I just want to say because I have been so willing to drive myself beyond my strength to help I didn’t realize until this winter when I could do it no longer, how your dad had got so dependent on me, and how so helpless he has got to do the little everyday things for himself, and how he wanted me to make all the decisions that come up and how he blames me when things go wrong, and how he really resents me doing the things he had forced me to do, oh, I have made a few feeble attempts a few times to make him carry his own responsible, but he was always so resentful about it that I would never follow up. I just want you boys to know I never did take over his part of the family responsibilities unless he asked me too. I sure didn’t crave any desire to cripple his ability to do things himself, but rather then stand up to situations I just gave in and took over I guess not realizing what it was leading to. I guess now after trying to find the mistake that it was that old feeling of his that he couldn’t do anything right, from his experience when a boy, that made him afraid to lead out and make decisions on his own, he wanted someone else to take the responsibility, I just didn’t sit down and think the situation through well enough. Instead of doing things for him, I should have encouraged his to do it himself and given him faith in himself, I am so sorry that he is so unable to think for himself now, but as I see it, I made as big a mistake in the matter as he did, so now all I can see to do is continue the same old way, and have all the patience with him to keep him as happy as I can make him, it seems like he just wants to stay home all the time, and have me wait on him, but I can think of a lot of things that would hurt me worse. There’s one thing I can say, neither of us have had to stand, and that is worry over each other being untrue to the other, the only thing that is hurting me is to see your dad being so helpless to do for himself around home, I only hope I am privileged to do this for him, and not have to leave him for someone else to do it. For awhile this winter I wasn’t sure I was going to be granted that blessing, when I tried to explain this situation to him, he always thinks I am finding fault with him, and he will say, well, I have never been worth anything and I never will be, so what can I do now but just carry on, I know his is sick, and he talks he is going to die young, he has been saying that all his life, he started in soon after we were married, said he would never life to be thirty, then it was forty, then be knew he would die before he was as old as his father, 54, and he still says it, I mean about it not being too long, I know we are both so much better that we were, but he keeps right on feeling that he hasn’t long to stay, oh, why did I get on this subject, I sure didn’t expect too. All I wanted to do is tell all of you that I will be praying that I can have the patience and kindness to make your father as happy as I know how to do, and for none of you to worry about it, my health is getting so much better that I feel sure now that I will be able to live as long as I always felt I would, to be an old, old woman. I have always felt that way, there was a time this winter that I wasn’t sure, but God was good, and I have sure put up one long battle to win out, along with the prayers of you all. Thanks to you all, just love us all, but please don’t worry over us, we’ll be fine. I’ll always be praying that all of you can be blessed to be able to work out your problems with God’s help. We all have to be tested to see how strong our faith is. Dad is working all ok, he is taking his work so much better, and he likes it, Lyman I am sending this letter to you first, as I want to answer your letter, let Clair read it then send it to Burdell, then you send it to Jack, then it can come back to me and if I fell it should go to Bertrand by then, I’ll send it to him. I realize I talked to much while I was so low in spirits this winter so I felt I should give you all a better understanding of the situation and about how things are working out, just be patient with us please, and give us all your love, and tell your wives thanks for being such wonderful daughters to us, we never could have had blood daughters that could have been more wonderful and kind to us, nor that we could love more, and thanks for all the letters of love and assurances you have given us to tell us so, God bless you all, this is just a personal letter to you boys, if you want the wives to read it, that is just up to you, As ever with love, Mother. P.S. I find so many mistakes I am ashamed to send this letter, but if I wait until I get it perfect you’ll never get it. I spent most all day yesterday and all forenoon today getting it this good, so in order to get it to you, please read it the way it should be and not like it is, it’s like me, a lot of things wrong with it.

Dear Sons, I have tried so many times to write this letter and say the things I want to say, not to hurt and make things worse but to clean up a lot of misunderstandings. I have lain awake nights and got down on my knees days, to ask God to help me say the things that need to be said to bring good feelings between Nona and us. I have never run to you and repeated things that have been said to create so much hurt feelings, you know that. I haven’t got much to say to you about this matter, but I do have a letter I wrote to the boys, all of you this spring when things were in a very bad conditions between your father and myself. I want to explain a little to you about it as you weren’t around to see for yourself. He got to expecting so much from me all the time, and was so cross about it when everything wasn’t the way he thought it should be. I tried so hard to tell him how he hurt me by the things he said to me but I wouldn’t quarrel with him or anyone else, as it always sounded so childish for grown up people to shout and say mean things to one another. I have always been one to speak my mind then shut up, but when I tried to reason with him he would get so angry, and then sulk for days. After I had the flu in December and January it left me weak and sick that it was so hard to keep going, but I knew he wasn’t well himself, so I tried so hard to keep his meals ready and do all I could to make it as easy as I could on him. But because I didn’t get everything done up he made it so hard on me. Well, in February he asked Lyman to let him get his cow that was going to come in, he already had a goat he had bought so he had milk for himself, so when he asked about the cow I told him I wished he wouldn’t, as I just didn’t feel up to taking care of so much milk, but it didn’t make any difference, he got the cow. Well, that started it and then things just kept backing up inside of me. All I could do was cry all the time, and I couldn’t seem to be able to get above the most disappointed feeling, then the middle of April something else happened that really done me up. I didn’t tell the boys about it, I just kept it to myself, but I had told Burdell I would go up and stay with the children while Verla was in the hospital. I was in a terrible condition by then, so after I got there I went all to pieced, Burdell says: Mother, what is the trouble? So I unburdened myself to him. And the other boys that had been here knew something was wrong, so when they finally found out the cause of my trouble it really had them worried, I had some many folks and friends writing to me telling me their family troubles and asking me to please pray for them and asking me for advise and something to help them find the way to work out their problems, so trying to find something to tell them it helped me to find encouragement and strength to get hold of myself. Things still weren’t much different with your father, he felt it was all my fault, he was all right, but I kept praying we could work together better. But when the Era came for September and we read the teaching message for October, ‘Be Slow to Anger,’ and dad had to read and give it to the people, it sure helped him so much. So now he is so much different to me; kind and considerate, and things are really pleasant around home. It just takes time to work things out, then about that time I made a study on charity, what it is and how we can get it, and that helped him a lot, by me reading it. He is sure trying hard to overcome his hot temper, and it is so good for him. Oh, it is so hard to write thing like this and make it sound like I want it too. If we could just sit together and talk it over I am sure I could make you understand better what I mean. He had found so much fault with everything I said or done I just got so afraid to speak or do anything for fear it would be wrong. But I am feeling more free from fear than I have been for a long time, I feel so grateful of it. When anyone can work and can keep busy, we can keep things that isn’t just as we would like it from getting the best of the mind but when we get down ill and have to lie around trying to get well, then it is so much harder to throw things off our minds. Then when I was that way, I couldn’t sleep and things that had come up with Nona, things you might not know and think about, and I would cry in my heart to God, Oh isn’t there something I can do or say that will make us understand each other better, so there can be real friendly feelings between us. I have felt for so many years that we sound talk out our differences, and nothing became better, but I am going to write her and tell my side of the story, because I have one too. There is always two sides to ever story. And I hope she will take time to think about it before she answers me. I might cup deep, but sometimes we have too to get to the bottom of the trouble, I have no other desire in my heart but to have the best friendly relationship between us, but Nona resents me so much. I know she does because she told me she did. And as bad as she had talked to me, I have heard her talk to her own mother worse. Nona really needs to think these things over, I am sure she just doesn’t really just how she can cut. Like Christ said when he was hanging on the cross, God forgive them, for they know not what they do... I would be more than happy to forgive things that has happened in the past if she would be willing to start over, oh, dear, I know I am saying this very badly, but it isn’t what she does to others, but what she is doing to herself, (The rest of the letter is missing)

Taken from Francis Lyman RUESCH's history written by his mother, Alberta FLANIGAN Ruesch. About this time you began to show the desire to be a barber. Poor Jack was your steady customer under tables, out doors, or any where you could get him and a pair of shears at the same time were I didn’t see you. His hair never did get a chance to grow right. Then after our son Jay was born July 7, 1921 you did some work on him, before he was born friends would say to Bertrand and you, “I’ll bet you want a little sister don’t you?” Well after he was born, someone asked you, “What have you got at your house that is new?” “A baby sister, but it’s a boy most of the time.” He had lovely light brown hair with a natural wave in it and I took such pleasure keeping in curled. It grew to be about six inches long on top and I’d wrap it around my finger in a big long ringlet across his head and the back I kept butch cropped quite long, I thought he looked so beautiful, but you thought different. When he was a little over two years old and a week or so before your brother Oren Jr. (Dickie we called him) was born September 12, Jay followed you to the corral to do choirs. I was out in the garden when you and he got back, I saw him and thought, what on earth makes that baby look so funny? But I soon discovered the reason. You had taken the shears dad kept at the corral to use on horses and had cut that long curl off close to his head. Well, this picture tells the story about the results. I was broken hearted. When I asked you why you did it you told me, “I was tired of him looking like a girl.” After Dickie was born your father cut the back hair off and I still cried then but I realized it all needed to have happened. If you hadn’t started it I don’t know how long I would have kept him looking like a girl, maybe he wouldn’t have grown into the loveable all boy that he did. So I didn’t keep feeling too bad over it, and could enjoy the joke along with everyone else.

Alberta Flanigan Ruesch 1895-1966 Find a Grave Birth: Jul. 9, 1895 Springdale, Washington County, Utah, USA Death: Aug. 7, 1966 Saint George, Washington County, Utah, USA Family links: Parents: David Alma Flanigan (1872 - 1951) Clearinda Malvina Stout Flanigan (1873 - 1939) Spouse: Oren Ruesch (1894 - 1968) Children: Francis Lyman Ruesch (1916 - 1989)* Jack Ruesch (1919 - 2005)* Jay Flanigan Ruesch (1921 - 1939)* Oren Ruesch (1923 - 1935)* Andrew Burdell Ruesch (1928 - 2014)* Siblings: Alberta Flanigan Ruesch (1895 - 1966) Don Carlos Flanigan (1900 - 1990)* Orval Nelson Flanigan (1905 - 1973)* Nora Flanigan Bradshaw (1908 - 2010)* Vernal Tom Flanigan (1911 - 1932)* Iris Ida Flanigan (1914 - 1918)* Zalie Flanigan Lee (1918 - 1953)* *Calculated relationship Burial: Virgin Cemetery Virgin Washington County Utah, USA Imported from: UT State Historical Society Record added: Feb 02, 2000 Find A Grave Memorial# 52079

Our dear sons, I spent all the forenoon making copies of your blessings so I could send you a copy. I feel that you need them so you can get an idea what God wants you to do in this great play going on in which we are all actors. You see sons, we were all spirits in heaven before we came to this earth to take a body. I believe we knew what the mission was we expected to fill before we got to this earth, but as we are born forgetting all we knew and only by keeping in close touch with God and seeking to gain back that knowledge do we come to an understanding what we should do in this life. There is quite a misunderstanding about foreordained and predestination. To be foreordained means to be given a part to fill if we are willing to do it. But predestination means we would have to do it wether we want to or not. Let me give you an example, say I should write a play and put or make characters in it which called for certain talents. When it is completed I begin to look around for the people who can play the different parts. I go to a person and say I have a certain place in my play I would like you to take, you have the gifts and talents that could do good with it if you take the part. I will pay you so much, if not, I’ll find someone else. Well, that leaves it up to this person to do as he pleases. There is three things he can do: take the part and work hard and study hard to do a good job of it, or they can say I’ll try then sherk and not do much and fall down on it, or they can say no I won’t do it I’ll not even try. So you see the last two ways they have no pay coming, they haven’t done there part. Well, if they were predestined they have to do it taking away their free agency. So, it is with this earth life we all have a part to play which if we find our part and work toward making a good job of it we will be given our pay with certain blessings that he had promised. These blessing he tells us the work we must do if we put our efforts to that line expecting to do our part so that we can expect the blessing promised. We needn’t fear God won’t do his part and keep the promises because he will. Of course it’s not easy. Nothing worth while is easy. It takes hard knocks to develop strength and character. It’s like a swimmer, the one who just floats along with the tides never reaches an objective or goal, but the one who keeps fighting going toward somewhere they want to go gets there and gets the reward. So please son, please don’t join in with the talk and opinions of those who are stirring up trouble, remember to ask God for the blessing you want and remember to do what he has asked of you. Keep clean both in body, mind and heart. Treat others as you want them to treat you, that is the rule to follow. Keep they tongue from evil and thy lips from speaking guile (decent coming: meaning of guile) depart from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it, the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous and his ears are open unto their cry. (Psalms) If you are kept over there for awhile do not get to impatient and get to thinking God is not hearing your prayers, but get the idea over to your sleeves that God has need of you where you are and you have a part to play there. Keep cool and not join in the feeling that the big men over here are not doing all they can. It’s a big job and if they got in too big a hurry it might make a worse panic than we are having now. Rest easy about the judgement on the people who were the cause of this war, they will be found out in time, they are uncovering a lot of stuff and I think we will all be surprised when the truth is finely out and shouted from the housetops like the Bible says it will be (radio). I want my boy home so badly it is just one big aching desire with me, but I don’t want to be selfish about it, the other mothers want there boys home too. Read your blessing over and pray God to help you understand what they mean and help you to see where you can do your part as each day and night comes. Be a help and a comfort to the other men and boys around you and a help to them to live better lives. And when we all get through this life may we all be together over there where there is no more separations and parting, that is my desire that our family may go on in the spirit of love for one another. But we have got to work for that wonderful blessing. Well sons, I have poured out my mother heart to you. I know the things you are going through are not pleasant ones. I try to understand they are not as near as I can without going through it myself. I have written this with carbon paper so all the letters will be the same. I will have to go over the last copy, it is so dim but it will still be the same anyway. I love you so much and want so much to help you be faithful and able to endure to the end. May God help you to overcome the mistake you might make, like all the rest of us make. Mistakes are the ladders we climb up to get somewhere but they don’t need to be the same mistakes. Good night, dear sons. Always with love as ever, mother.

My Dear Sons, Lyman, we received your very welcome letter, thanks for the kind word. It all helps me carry on, I sure hope I as a mother have helped some to give you a better understand the purpose of this earth, and our being here, I have decided to write a letter, to all of you, Lyman you can let Clair read this, then please send it to Jack, and you Jack send it to Burdell, I don’t think I will have it sent to Bert, because he has the same problem to try and find the right answer too, there is no need to make him help me, but you other boys haven’t this problem, or if you have I don’t know of it. I just want to help you understand a situation that I feel you can see and perhaps are worried over, I have already talked to much to some of you, I mean too much without giving you a better explanation of the facts as I see them. This is just my side of the question, if some one could get dad to open up and tell his side of the story, and if I could find out it would help me so much to know how to act, but he won’t tell me anything. You boys or some of you told us, what impressed you the most in your boyhood home was the kindness between your father and myself, and I am happy that we were able to give you these memories of your life together; that is what I wanted to give you as inheritance, I wanted all of you boys from the time I knew another child was coming, no one ever heard me complain that I had too many children, because I never did feel that way, I felt from the time I was a young girl, that I could have a large family, and I was happy to be blessed with them. Whenever your father and I had any difficulty over matters I always tried to talk it over when we were alone, I tried to tell him how I felt about it, but it seemed like he got the idea I was finding fault with him and his way of thinking, it just seemed like I never could find the right words to use, I knew before I ever married your father that he felt resentment against his dad, because it seemed like he could never do or say the right thing, his mother told me that grandpa always had it in for him, so... (Do not have the rest of the letter.)

A letter to my sons: Dear Gifts from God, I have been going to write you all a letter to help you understand that you have nothing to worry over about your father and my problems, I realize I have talked to much when the way looked pretty dark ahead, but things are better now. Also, I want to thank you all for your phone calls and the letters I received for my birthday, while I have tried to train myself to not look nor expect to be remembered with outward attention, because I know you all love us, and everyone is so rushed and busy, but when they come unexpected they are a great thrill to me, and they do me so much good. Your father and I have been through a tough test this winter, one that has found the weak places in us, but now things are so much better, and I feel we have come through it with a far better understanding of each other. I’ll have to confess that I have handled past problems in a way that made things worse for us, but that is no ones fault but mine, we were married young and I knew your father had not received very good treatment from his own father, so that he felt left out and not equal to others. Your grandmother told me herself that grandpa always had it in for your dad, and I knew also that he had to do so much house work while at home because he was the oldest in the family and grandma had been bed fast so much of the time, poor soul, she was one wonderful woman, so I love and honor her memory. Howard always got all the favors and attention, so there was really bad feelings in a way in the family, then your dad told me after we were married that his folks didn’t want him be marry me because I wasn’t a strong girl. So we did start out with problems to work out. My folks did always look after me so carefully, I never was strong, so I knew they were right, but when I got married I always felt in my heart that I would be blessed with a large family and was looking forward to it with great joy, I welcomed each child with thanks giving and knowing how hurt your dad had been I tried so hard to make it up to him, when I got married, I had the goal in my mind that I was going to take my vows to heart and take the bitter along with the sweet, and to always encourage my husband to bring out the best in himself. I knew God meant for the men to be the head of the family, so I always tried to remember that. I had read what Pres. Joseph F. Smith said, quote: There is no higher authority in matters relating to the family organization and epically when that organization is presided over by one holding the high priesthood than that of the father, the authority is time honored and among the people of God in all dispensations it had been highly respected and often emphasized by the teachings of the prophets who were inspired of God. The patriarchal order is of devine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity, there is then, a particular reason why men, women and children should understand this order and this authority in the households of the people of God, and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the higher exaltation of his children, in the home the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount to illustrate this principle, a single incident will perhaps suffice, it sometimes happens that the Elders he calls in to administer to the members of the family among these Elders there may be presidents of stakes, apostles, or even members of the first Presidency of the church. It is not proper under these circumstances for the father to stand back and expect the Elders to direct the administration of this important ordinance, the father is there, it is his right and it is his duty to preside. He should select the one who is the administer of the oil and the one who is to be mouth in prayer, and he should not feel that because present presiding authorities of the church that he is therefore divested of his rights to direct the administration of that blessing of the gospel in his home. If the father is absent, the Mother should request the presiding authority present to take charge. The father presides at the table, at prayers and gives general directions relating to his family life whoever may be present, wives and children should be taught to feel that the patriarchal order in the kingdom of God has been established for a wise and beneficial purpose, and should sustain the head of the household and encourage him in the discharge of his duties, and do all in their power to aid him to exercise of the rights and privileges which God has bestowed upon the head of the home. The patriarchal order has it’s divine spirit and purpose, and these who disregard it under one pretext or another are out of harmony with the spirit of Gods laws as they are ordained for recognition of the home. It is not merely a question of who is the best qualified, neither is it wholly a question of who is living the most worthy life, it is a question largely of law and order and it’s importance is seen often from the fact that the authority remains and is respected long after a man is really unworthy to exercise it. This authority carries with it a responsible and a grave one, as well as it’s rights and privileges, and men can not be too exemplary it their lives, nor fit themselves too carefully to live in harmony with this important and God ordained rule of conduct in the family organization upon the authority certain promises and blessings are predicated and those who observe and respect this authority have certain claims on divine favor that they cannot have except they respect and observe the laws that God has established for the regulation and authority in the home. Honor they Father and thy Mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord they God giveth thee, was a fundamental law to ancient Israel and is binding upon every number of the church today, for the law is eternal. The necessity they of recognizing the patriarchal order and authority of the home rests upon principle as well . The person who holds that authority and among the Latter-day Saints family discipline, founded upon the law of the patriarchal, should be carefully cultivated and fathers will then be able to remove many of the difficulties that now weaken their position in the home through unworthy children. I find there is such a poor understanding of this among the people today and I wonder if that is one of the reasons of so much disrespect for fathers, he had become just the goat in the family, just the man who worked to earn the money they want to spend, as I was saying I had read these things so that was my goal in mind, to take my vows seriously and be willing to take the bitter along with the sweet, and to encourage my husband to do his duties to God first, and do all I could to make it possible for him to do it, I realize I have made a lot of mistakes learning my lessons but I have tried to profit by them, I have always been happy in my family life, I have been told by different people that they thought that was why I wasn’t ageing like a lot of others, I was a happy person and I had such an interest in life. I was so happy to get out and work with your dad in anything he needed done, and while you boys were growing up and your dad expected so much from you, I was always glad to get out and help any of you, and I feel I have been blessed so many ways for every time I did it, I learned each one of you better than if I hadn’t done it, oh, you have been such a joy to my heart, sure you all made mistakes, you were having to learn right from wrong from lifes experience just like the rest of us. Some times that is the only ways truths can be learned, the big thing that matters is what we do about our mistakes, if we go right on making them, or do we profit from them to give us strength to avoid temptation the next time they come our way. I have been made so happy to seen how you handled situations that came your way, and I say thanks for being willing to learn. I just want to say because I have been so willing to drive myself beyond my strength to help I didn’t realize until this winter when I could do it no longer, how your dad had got so dependent on me, and how so helpless he has got to do the little everyday things for himself, and how he wanted me to make all the decisions that come up and how he blames me when things go wrong, and how he really resents me doing the things he had forced me to do, oh, I have made a few feeble attempts a few times to make him carry his own responsible, but he was always so resentful about it that I would never follow up. I just want you boys to know I never did take over his part of the family responsibilities unless he asked me too. I sure didn’t crave any desire to cripple his ability to do things himself, but rather then stand up to situations I just gave in and took over I guess not realizing what it was leading to. I guess now after trying to find the mistake that it was that old feeling of his that he couldn’t do anything right, from his experience when a boy, that made him afraid to lead out and make decisions on his own, he wanted someone else to take the responsibility, I just didn’t sit down and think the situation through well enough. Instead of doing things for him, I should have encouraged his to do it himself and given him faith in himself, I am so sorry that he is so unable to think for himself now, but as I see it, I made as big a mistake in the matter as he did, so now all I can see to do is continue the same old way, and have all the patience with him to keep him as happy as I can make him, it seems like he just wants to stay home all the time, and have me wait on him, but I can think of a lot of things that would hurt me worse. There’s one thing I can say, neither of us have had to stand, and that is worry over each other being untrue to the other, the only thing that is hurting me is to see your dad being so helpless to do for himself around home, I only hope I am privileged to do this for him, and not have to leave him for someone else to do it. For awhile this winter I wasn’t sure I was going to be granted that blessing, when I tried to explain this situation to him, he always thinks I am finding fault with him, and he will say, well, I have never been worth anything and I never will be, so what can I do now but just carry on, I know his is sick, and he talks he is going to die young, he has been saying that all his life, he started in soon after we were married, said he would never life to be thirty, then it was forty, then be knew he would die before he was as old as his father, 54, and he still says it, I mean about it not being too long, I know we are both so much better that we were, but he keeps right on feeling that he hasn’t long to stay, oh, why did I get on this subject, I sure didn’t expect too. All I wanted to do is tell all of you that I will be praying that I can have the patience and kindness to make your father as happy as I know how to do, and for none of you to worry about it, my health is getting so much better that I feel sure now that I will be able to live as long as I always felt I would, to be an old, old woman. I have always felt that way, there was a time this winter that I wasn’t sure, but God was good, and I have sure put up one long battle to win out, along with the prayers of you all. Thanks to you all, just love us all, but please don’t worry over us, we’ll be fine. I’ll always be praying that all of you can be blessed to be able to work out your problems with God’s help. We all have to be tested to see how strong our faith is. Dad is working all ok, he is taking his work so much better, and he likes it, Lyman I am sending this letter to you first, as I want to answer your letter, let Clair read it then send it to Burdell, then you send it to Jack, then it can come back to me and if I fell it should go to Bertrand by then, I’ll send it to him. I realize I talked to much while I was so low in spirits this winter so I felt I should give you all a better understanding of the situation and about how things are working out, just be patient with us please, and give us all your love, and tell your wives thanks for being such wonderful daughters to us, we never could have had blood daughters that could have been more wonderful and kind to us, nor that we could love more, and thanks for all the letters of love and assurances you have given us to tell us so, God bless you all, this is just a personal letter to you boys, if you want the wives to read it, that is just up to you, As ever with love, Mother. P.S. I find so many mistakes I am ashamed to send this letter, but if I wait until I get it perfect you’ll never get it. I spent most all day yesterday and all forenoon today getting it this good, so in order to get it to you, please read it the way it should be and not like it is, it’s like me, a lot of things wrong with it.

Dear Sons, I have tried so many times to write this letter and say the things I want to say, not to hurt and make things worse but to clean up a lot of misunderstandings. I have lain awake nights and got down on my knees days, to ask God to help me say the things that need to be said to bring good feelings between Nona and us. I have never run to you and repeated things that have been said to create so much hurt feelings, you know that. I haven’t got much to say to you about this matter, but I do have a letter I wrote to the boys, all of you this spring when things were in a very bad conditions between your father and myself. I want to explain a little to you about it as you weren’t around to see for yourself. He got to expecting so much from me all the time, and was so cross about it when everything wasn’t the way he thought it should be. I tried so hard to tell him how he hurt me by the things he said to me but I wouldn’t quarrel with him or anyone else, as it always sounded so childish for grown up people to shout and say mean things to one another. I have always been one to speak my mind then shut up, but when I tried to reason with him he would get so angry, and then sulk for days. After I had the flu in December and January it left me weak and sick that it was so hard to keep going, but I knew he wasn’t well himself, so I tried so hard to keep his meals ready and do all I could to make it as easy as I could on him. But because I didn’t get everything done up he made it so hard on me. Well, in February he asked Lyman to let him get his cow that was going to come in, he already had a goat he had bought so he had milk for himself, so when he asked about the cow I told him I wished he wouldn’t, as I just didn’t feel up to taking care of so much milk, but it didn’t make any difference, he got the cow. Well, that started it and then things just kept backing up inside of me. All I could do was cry all the time, and I couldn’t seem to be able to get above the most disappointed feeling, then the middle of April something else happened that really done me up. I didn’t tell the boys about it, I just kept it to myself, but I had told Burdell I would go up and stay with the children while Verla was in the hospital. I was in a terrible condition by then, so after I got there I went all to pieced, Burdell says: Mother, what is the trouble? So I unburdened myself to him. And the other boys that had been here knew something was wrong, so when they finally found out the cause of my trouble it really had them worried, I had some many folks and friends writing to me telling me their family troubles and asking me to please pray for them and asking me for advise and something to help them find the way to work out their problems, so trying to find something to tell them it helped me to find encouragement and strength to get hold of myself. Things still weren’t much different with your father, he felt it was all my fault, he was all right, but I kept praying we could work together better. But when the Era came for September and we read the teaching message for October, ‘Be Slow to Anger,’ and dad had to read and give it to the people, it sure helped him so much. So now he is so much different to me; kind and considerate, and things are really pleasant around home. It just takes time to work things out, then about that time I made a study on charity, what it is and how we can get it, and that helped him a lot, by me reading it. He is sure trying hard to overcome his hot temper, and it is so good for him. Oh, it is so hard to write thing like this and make it sound like I want it too. If we could just sit together and talk it over I am sure I could make you understand better what I mean. He had found so much fault with everything I said or done I just got so afraid to speak or do anything for fear it would be wrong. But I am feeling more free from fear than I have been for a long time, I feel so grateful of it. When anyone can work and can keep busy, we can keep things that isn’t just as we would like it from getting the best of the mind but when we get down ill and have to lie around trying to get well, then it is so much harder to throw things off our minds. Then when I was that way, I couldn’t sleep and things that had come up with Nona, things you might not know and think about, and I would cry in my heart to God, Oh isn’t there something I can do or say that will make us understand each other better, so there can be real friendly feelings between us. I have felt for so many years that we sound talk out our differences, and nothing became better, but I am going to write her and tell my side of the story, because I have one too. There is always two sides to ever story. And I hope she will take time to think about it before she answers me. I might cup deep, but sometimes we have too to get to the bottom of the trouble, I have no other desire in my heart but to have the best friendly relationship between us, but Nona resents me so much. I know she does because she told me she did. And as bad as she had talked to me, I have heard her talk to her own mother worse. Nona really needs to think these things over, I am sure she just doesn’t really just how she can cut. Like Christ said when he was hanging on the cross, God forgive them, for they know not what they do... I would be more than happy to forgive things that has happened in the past if she would be willing to start over, oh, dear, I know I am saying this very badly, but it isn’t what she does to others, but what she is doing to herself, (The rest of the letter is missing)

Taken from Francis Lyman RUESCH's history written by his mother, Alberta FLANIGAN Ruesch. About this time you began to show the desire to be a barber. Poor Jack was your steady customer under tables, out doors, or any where you could get him and a pair of shears at the same time were I didn’t see you. His hair never did get a chance to grow right. Then after our son Jay was born July 7, 1921 you did some work on him, before he was born friends would say to Bertrand and you, “I’ll bet you want a little sister don’t you?” Well after he was born, someone asked you, “What have you got at your house that is new?” “A baby sister, but it’s a boy most of the time.” He had lovely light brown hair with a natural wave in it and I took such pleasure keeping in curled. It grew to be about six inches long on top and I’d wrap it around my finger in a big long ringlet across his head and the back I kept butch cropped quite long, I thought he looked so beautiful, but you thought different. When he was a little over two years old and a week or so before your brother Oren Jr. (Dickie we called him) was born September 12, Jay followed you to the corral to do choirs. I was out in the garden when you and he got back, I saw him and thought, what on earth makes that baby look so funny? But I soon discovered the reason. You had taken the shears dad kept at the corral to use on horses and had cut that long curl off close to his head. Well, this picture tells the story about the results. I was broken hearted. When I asked you why you did it you told me, “I was tired of him looking like a girl.” After Dickie was born your father cut the back hair off and I still cried then but I realized it all needed to have happened. If you hadn’t started it I don’t know how long I would have kept him looking like a girl, maybe he wouldn’t have grown into the loveable all boy that he did. So I didn’t keep feeling too bad over it, and could enjoy the joke along with everyone else.

Alberta Flanigan Ruesch 1895-1966 Find a Grave Birth: Jul. 9, 1895 Springdale, Washington County, Utah, USA Death: Aug. 7, 1966 Saint George, Washington County, Utah, USA Family links: Parents: David Alma Flanigan (1872 - 1951) Clearinda Malvina Stout Flanigan (1873 - 1939) Spouse: Oren Ruesch (1894 - 1968) Children: Francis Lyman Ruesch (1916 - 1989)* Jack Ruesch (1919 - 2005)* Jay Flanigan Ruesch (1921 - 1939)* Oren Ruesch (1923 - 1935)* Andrew Burdell Ruesch (1928 - 2014)* Siblings: Alberta Flanigan Ruesch (1895 - 1966) Don Carlos Flanigan (1900 - 1990)* Orval Nelson Flanigan (1905 - 1973)* Nora Flanigan Bradshaw (1908 - 2010)* Vernal Tom Flanigan (1911 - 1932)* Iris Ida Flanigan (1914 - 1918)* Zalie Flanigan Lee (1918 - 1953)* *Calculated relationship Burial: Virgin Cemetery Virgin Washington County Utah, USA Imported from: UT State Historical Society Record added: Feb 02, 2000 Find A Grave Memorial# 52079