Fred Richard Becker, 71, passed away at his home in Orem, on Christmas Day, when he lost his valiant fight against prostate cancer and went home to his Heavenly Father. He was born March 20, 1925, in Stoneham (Clara City), Minnesota, to Albert and Heilke Dannen Becker, the eighth of ten children. He married Arlene Della Dearing of Utah on August 16, 1946, in Evanston, Wyoming. He is survived by his wife, six children: Lorinda and Alan Mann, Taylorsville; Carin and Roger Green, Payson; Bobby and Janice Becker, Orem; Vern and Laura Becker, Rohnert Park, CA; Peggy and Lonny Jensen, Smithfield; and Duane and Anna Becker, Pleasant Grove. He had 31 grandchildren. His brothers and sisters: Martha Schwitters, George and Marian Becker, Clara City; Jeanette Hermann, Mayer; Herman and Rose Becker, Montevideo; Emma Peglow, Sanda Fe Springs, CA; Vernon Becker and Cora Heller, Port Charlotte, FL. His brothers- and sisters-in-law: George and Bernice Dearing; Charles and Arthella Dearing, Orem; Keith and Frances Boden, Choctaw, OK; Myrtle Jones, Magna; and Edith Dearing, Sandy. He was preceded in death by his parents and two brothers.
Burial was December 28, 1996.
My mother, Arlene Della Dearing Becker, taught me to be a better grandmother by her example. She set up traditions, shared all she had with everyone, was a disciplinarian, very crafty, and very spiritual. She was Grandma Becker.
Seven things she taught me and her grandchildren that I am passing on and teaching my grandchildren are:
First, her testimony of tithing was done is an extraordinary way. My father, Fred Richard Becker, would not let her pay her tithing with "his" money. So, she spoke with her bishop at the time. In counsel, he advised her if she would make cookies for church activities, he would consider it "paying her tithing." With her cooking ability, she became known for her chocolate chip, sugar cookies, snicker doodles, and other cookie concoctions. All the members of her ward looked forward to events such as Christmas parties, Relief Society meetings, summer picnics, and other ward activities. For this reason, paying her tithing by baking cookies, she was known as the Cookie Grandma.
Her grandchildren knew they only got the old, refrigerator cookies (that tasted old) and the Lord got the freshest, best cookies for the ward activities.
Second, the temple and its teachings were very important to her. My father was Lutheran, and not supportive of the LDS beliefs, and generally did not endorse what they taught. My mother had been inactive while I was small, but during my teen-age years became active.
She started living the principles of the Gospel to the best of her ability. She also wanted to go to the temple. She prepared to go when the time was right. In preparation, she tried to implement all the LDS gospel principles. She believed deeply in the church and the gospel.
After years of praying and wanting to go, her prayers were answered. When the prophet announced worthy women married to non-member husbands could attend the temple with their husband's permission, her bishop called her immediately. Within two weeks, she prepared to go to the Manti temple with her children, siblings, friends, and ward members. Later, at a dinner afterwards, my father met all the family at a restaurant to celebrate.
Mom lived the gospel and was a great example to her husband, children, and grandchildren.
Third, a powerful spiritual attribute was her testimony. She always bore her testimony of the restored church, not only to her children and grandchildren, but to members of her ward. EVERY fast and testimony meeting, she would stand and without embarrassment share her testimony to members of the ward or family members who attended her ward. She did this up until the end of her life. After her death were there at least three members of her ward who sent the family a note stating, they had gone on a mission for their church because of her example and her testimony.
A few years later after taking out her endowments, she was called to work in the baptistery of the Provo Temple. She worked there for many years, always bearing her testimony to those who came to do baptisms for the dead.
Fourth, my mom only went to fourth grade. Due to the depression and a single mother trying to find work and raise 8 children alone, they moved quite often. After just a few months in one place, she would make friends. But the job would change, and they moved between Utah and California. With all the changes and different schools, she decided she would not continue school. She regretted this choice.
Her 30-plus grandchildren would often hear stories of how education was very important. They nicknamed it the "Education Lecture." She encouraged her granddaughters and grandsons to get as much education as they could. She would share her experience and regret at not completing her primary and secondary education
Even though she didn't get the education she had hoped, she never gave up improving herself by applying and using the best tools she had at her disposal. She improved her reading skills by listening to scripture tapes and if she did not know a word, she would call me or my siblings for a pronunciation. She never forgot that word after getting her answer. Also, she improved her spelling by keeping a journal. If she did not know how to spell a word, she would ask, keep a running spelling list, and refer to it when she wanted to use it again.
Fifth, she was an avid journal keeper – either through writing or speaking on tapes, revealing the feelings of her heart and soul. She kept these records for over 40 years. This has since become a treasure of information for her posterity.
Sixth was the ability to be of service to family, friends, and neighbors giving the best of what she could. She would take a meal, cookies, a fruit basket to her neighbors, clean house for them, babysit, donate to the scouts or other worthy causes. She would make homemade rugs or other crafts for people to share and/or cheer them up.
Seventh was her children and extended family. She created activities and events for bonding. These included July 4th water fights, Christmas sacks, Dearing Christmas parties with extended family, Easter egg hunts, Halloween trick or treat, playing Canasta and talking, watching favorite TV shows, playing games, having picnics, or just getting together talking.
One of her dreams was to be sealed as a family. One year after Dad’s passing, she was sealed to my Dad in the Manti Temple. A year later, the six children were sealed to our parents in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple in November, 1998.
Six live children knelt across the altar looking at each other realizing the dream was fulfilled and recognizing the Lord’s hand in bringing this blessing to pass. Tears flowed as the spirit bore a strong witness of the teaching of eternal families.
Grandma Becker shared and lived what she believed in her testimony, temple attendance, living the gospel, reading scriptures, journals, service, and love of family -- all by her true example.
