Charles Monte Alexander

When Charley's dad and I got married, I was so anxious to have a baby. It was not to long before I was expecting and I was so excited with the Miracle of the child growing within me. Monte had mentioned that he had wished that he had been named after his dad. So I decided that if we had a baby boy he would be named after his dad and his grandpa Alexander. I didn't have any problems with the pregnancy. I only got sick briefly once. The rest of the time I felt just fine. Charles Monte Alexander was born on April 10, 1961. I was a little nervous as we were driving up to the "Old", L.D.S. hospital. So I asked Monte if we could stop and get a soda first. We arrived at the hospital and found were we needed to go and even ran into someone from high school. She was surprised to see how calm I was as I was going to have my first baby. When I was finally put into the "Labor" room, I really didn't realize what we were in for. I was really surprised at how much it "hurt"! After a while between labor pains I would fall asleep. Once when they were in checking on me, I told them I could feel a "little" foot. (I held his little foot in my hand). The nurse did not believe me but she checked and sure enough there was. Charlie was being born feet first. He came pretty quick after that. Oh he was so tiny and perfect and precious! Monte and I were both very happy. He weighted 6 lbs. and 13 ounces, 191/2 inches long. I LOVED HIM INSTANTLY! And did for the rest of his 35 years, on Earth. Charles was always a good boy. He grew into being a good brother to his six siblings as well. Always a tease to his sisters. As a teenager he always had good friends. When Charley graduated from West high School, he told me he was going to join the Marine Reserves. This surprised me and I said,"Charley I thought you wanted to go on a mission?" He answered me by telling me he still did, but, he knew he wanted to continue his schooling and the reserves would pay for it. So his plan was that after Boot camp he would go on his mission, then attend to his reserves obligations while he continued with his schooling. Little did he know what his future was about to bring. While he was in Boot camp he became very ill. Charley had to be hospitalized in the Balboa Naval Base hospital, in San Diego, California. Our family, at this same time, had moved to Rose Park (Salt lake city, Utah) to Plano, Texas, with Monte's work. I was working at an Electronics Plant at the time I got the call. The Dr.’s at the hospital told me that my son was very ill. They said that it would be a good idea if I would come and be with him. He wasn’t doing well at all and had already had at least one surgery. It was around Thanksgiving that the Red Cross in cooperation with the Marine Corp. made arrangements to fly me down there, and they even put me up in a Motel. When I got off the airplane, there were 3 or 4 Marines there to meet me. They took me to the hospital. At the hospital they took me to the ward where Charley was. It was a very large room with a wall in the middle and two rows of beds on each side. I walked down and up both sides and I didn’t see Charley anywhere. Then I heard his voice behind me. He said,”Mom” I turned around and there he was. I hadn’t recognized him because he had changed so much from his illness. But it only took me a minute to see my boy’s eyes. He was looking at me from a body that was so sick it had changed, from my happy healthy son that had left for Boot camp. He had another surgery while I was there, they had to remove more of his intestines. The first surgery they did resulted in an Illeostemy. I spent everyday with him that week in the hospital. I would stay at the motel at night and rode a bus to the hospital each day. I would read to him sometimes but mostly I just sat with him and would talk, when he was strong enough. I had to get back home to the rest of my family. I would get a lot of phone calls from the doctors while I was away from Charley. I went back to San Diego again after New Years. I honestly can’t remember what month it was, but I do know it was between Feb. and April. The company I worked for presented me with several hundred dollars so I could be with my son again. I was so surprised and grateful for their generosity. Now I was able to spend another week with Charley. Charley was in the Naval hospital for a total of 13 months and had 13 major surgeries during that time. The kids and I moved back to Utah at the end of that school year. I farmed out the kids to my sisters houses so that I could spend a full month with him before I brought him home to Utah to the Veterans Hospital in Salt Lake City. David went to stay with Rhea and Bruce Olsen in Bear River City. Kristine and Kathleen stayed with y sister Laraine and Ed Huff in St. George. Tamara and Liz went to Magna to stay with my sister Joyce and her family. Richard had joined the Marine Corp. during this time so he wasn’t there for this move. After a time, the doctors in San Diego called and said there was nothing more they could do for Charles. They thought it would be better for him to be closer to home and for us also as a family to be able to see our brother whom we all loved and missed. So he was Med-o-vaced home and became a resident at the V.A hospital. After awhile, and several more surgeries later, Charley could have a few hours at home now and then. But he still needed to be at the hospital at night. Some time later we decided to get Charley to the Temple, for his Endowments. Arrangements were made and my dad was able to be his escort at the Salt Lake Temple. He was in a chair the hospital provided for him because he needed to have his medications and other things with him. Charles could not be without those life supporting things at anytime. So he took them with him where ever he went. Well, they were attached to him so he really had no choice in the matter. This was truly a wonderful miracle for him. Dr. Houchins, the head of surgery at the V.A. hospital, had taken a personal interest in Charley. He was determined that if Charley lived, he would get him as well as possible. Because of the devotion to take care of him, Dr. Houchins and the staff at the V.A. grew to love Charley. Charley was a tease with them too and that made him easy to love. Eventually Charley improved enough that he could take care of himself. He even had his own apartment for a time and then his own house. Then he met Tanya! Charley and Tanya sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. They got married and they have 4 kids, Marianne, Delilah, Charles Monte Jr., and Shaina. Charley’s health went up and down for 10 years, but they were the happiest years of his life! He passed away at the young age of 35. We were so blessed because of him. Sharon Lynne Wilcox Alexander (Mom)

I have so many wonderful memories of growing up with Charley. He was so fun! I remember him always making up silly songs and sticking our names into them. I can still hear him sing: Everybody's doin'it, doin'it, doin'it Picking their nose and chewin'it, chewin'it Kristine says it's fun Kathleen says it's gum But Tamara jus says it's yum, yum, yum! You notice I'm not in there. As per Charley's rules of song making, you use what works for you! ;) In fact, I often find myself doing the same thing and making up silly songs about my girls. He almost couldn't walk past us girls without pinching our bottoms or teasing us in some way followed by his signature, "Tee, Hee, Hee" laugh. I laughed the other day to think of his little green Gremlin car, he was so proud of. It had zebra carpet across the back window ledge and a silver dollar glued to the gear shift. When I think back on those early days I remember his handsome looks, beautiful voice, and popularity with everyone: especially his family. I remember one day he took me and a friend, down the road to Riverside park for a walk and then he sat and pushed me on the swing. I felt like the luckiest little girl on the block to be able to go with him. As a young girl I loved his attention and wanted so much to please him. He was 10 years older then me so he would often teach me things or correct my behavior if I acted up. He always tried to set a good example for me. Regardless of my actions however, I always felt his unconditional love for me. He was firm in his expectation but always gentle and kind. After he got sick so much had changed. I remember finally being told that us kids could see him now that he had been flown home to Utah from the Marine Corp. boot camp in San Diego. Tamara and I were allowed into the Intensive Care Unit of the V.A. hospital. They gave us special permission since we were his little sisters and not yet old enough to really be there. I was excited to see him but when I rounded the corner and entered the room, I was not prepared for what I saw. "Where was my Invincible Big Brother?", his curly hair and his infectious smile? How could that man be my brother Charley? I ran from the room feeling nauseas and went into the hallway crying. Those were difficult days but over time as Charley healed and improved, though what I am sure were Miracle, he was allowed to come home. I used to help him change the dressings hat were covering his partially exposed stomach. He would sit in his cardiac chair in the front room and give us all directions and we would run around attending to his needs. It was from that experience that I decided to start general nursing courses when I began college. I was sure that I was meant to be a nurse. Anatomy lab cured me of that desire however, when it became clear to me that I really didn't have the capacity to help people in that way. I realized that what I was doing for my big brother was serving and loving him. Other then his physical appearance, Charley never changed. He was always gracious in his adversity. When Charley began to feel better his personality rose to the top once again and he was back to making up silly songs, teasing relentlessly, and was still popular with all who knew him. I remember one night when we were up at Aunt Maxine's cabin with just our family. A few of us were on the front deck playing poker. To my surprise Charley walked up and asked to be dealt in. He didn't know haw to play so he survived by stealing most of David's money. Just so he could be with us! He was willing to meet us where we were and I always knew that I mattered to him! Family was always important to Charley. He married his beautiful wife Tanya and together they have four amazing children. Charley loves his family above all else and it was his greatest desire to be with them always. I remember hearing that he instructed the doctors, before a particularly risky surgery, that if there was ANYTHING they could do to save his life he wanted them to do it! He wanted to be with his family more then he wanted his own comfort. Far too soon, however, Charley was called home. Perhaps the Lard knew that from the other side of the veil he could do more to love, guide and protect his loved ones since his body was done. I went to see Charley in the hospital and knew that he was close to leaving us. I stopped at a pay phone on my way home and called my mom and dad and told them they needed to hurry to see him. It was beautiful when everyone came together before he passed. Tanya, mom, dad and Sue, along with all his brothers and sisters were there. We would take turns rotating from the waiting room to his room. I was talking to someone when suddenly my thoughts were filled with and URGENT prompting to get to his room as fast as possible. It was time to say goodbye, they were turning off his life support. It was determined that he was beyond recovery. I ran though the doors and around the corner and into the room just in time to see the monitors go 3 to 2 to 1. I gasped feeling as though I had missed it! Kristine lovingly turned to me and said, "You were here, you were here!" Charley was surrounded by his loved ones. Along with us his children were there also. Being there together in that moment let like what can only be described as Holy Ground! I've been blessed to feel the spirit many times in my life since that time but I don't recall feeling it as acutely as I did in that room. Charley taught me so much throughout my life. He taught me what it looks like to Stand in Holy Places, and be not moved by the influence of the world. His testimony of the Savior was always strong and although I wasn't living my life close to the gospel at that time he never failed to share it wit me. I heard not too long ago that most things in this world are a type and shadow of Christ. I was thinking about that the other day when I was pondering what Charley had taught me. I was struck by the similarities of their influence in my life. Christ too is my older brother and I am grateful that he is there for me, willing to meet me where I am in my personal journey here on the earth. I am so grateful for families and for the knowledge that WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER! Elizabeth Alexander Stone (Sister)